ho ho ho...no no no

Dear Santa.com...e-bay....you tube....my space....blogger....ECT,

I would like to lodge a COMPLAINT about my "gift-package", at this time.

I have an issue (...should say: tissue) or two....:

****1: my shit came WAY early....already UNWRAPPED

****2: I don't have a chimney and I have electronic security. ( SO that means
YOU'RE who stole my key..AND codes to Boot(s)

****3: EVERYBODY KNOWS I'm a goody two-shoes VIP-Rep. And my wife, no longer
goes for "naughty" (like the old-days..)(now if you'd brought me the good-'ol days
BACK..!!!! T H A T ...would have been a gift worthy of this year's humanitarian-acts...performed DAILY...from the goodness, of my heart..!!)

>>>>>>> B U T S I R ...........the FLU ???? <<<<<<<<

+++++++++++++++++ EVERYBODY SING !!!! ++++++++
cough cough cough.....hack hack hack....
headache- all the wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

It's been no fun....ya son of a bitch
Bet you're flamin'-gayyyyyyyyyyyy!!


I'll LIVE, of course......but now I'm stressin' on the Easter Bunny !

auto-bad edit

excuse my mini-rant, here......

BUT----who put the 'auto-do what ever' ...on
the PRINT the bastard-blog now program.

Go ahead and try to put the paragraphs n sentences n such
into a manner, what makes my self indulgent, over-wordy, hopelessly sub-referanced,
sophomoric-blatherings...float EASILY on the seas of understandibilitudle-ness...
like a huge waste-paper ghost-ship, over-manned heavily with adjective-skeleton-pirates.......

.....but no. It slips in it's own.."secret-margin"
(which apparently is secretly encoded to change, each time.)

B U T.....I AM an optimist....and maybe...just maybe
it MIGHT just give me just the sparkle-ee magic,
I need, WITH THE PERFECT

AUTO

Edit

Hooker

.......da-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
........."goodevening everybody...we're HOOKER and you're not....We're young
We're tuff We're good-lookin....and WE're gonna play YOU- some KIKK ASS...!"says
electric man Rob-Honey into his microphone.

The Band(Hooker...we're the guys on the stage....playin'LOUD) ..the band ANSWERS BACK, after he says, "Kikk-Ass"...with a "gaaaaan-gaaaaan!!"

.....silence
...then guitarist David 'Howlin'-Howland "the Ice-Man"..says,
"He said KIKK-ASS"....band goes......"gaaaaan-gaaaaan!!"

.....silence
.....bassist extraordinaire', Robbie Hodge...says, in a silly Texas accent,
"they saaaaa-yad KIKK-AAA-YASSSS"..."gaaaaaan-gaaaaan!!"

....longer pause...(my turn...), "...KIKK.....................ASS"
gaaaaaaaan-....................gaaaaaaan!!

band screams, "Rock and RooooooooooooooooooooooooooLLLLLLLLLLLL !!!"

...and we launch into our very energetic and unique show (#who knows)...in our
12 year run of Musical madness and TRUE stories SO UNBELIEVABLE...that you would have had to have been THERE, personally...to believe such things.(and ALL the things that happened...happened WITH or in front of people THERE. If you read this and catch one...you WILL remember!!)
We had a RULE...you see.....nobody got to even-TELL a story about what happened, a minute ago..or last night----WITHOUT a WITNESS. Afore mentioned witness,
must be within the circle of known truth-tellers. (for example..road crew members
don't count ..until they've been TESTED thru fire and ice. ...for all who knoweth of them....knoweth that they be O so full of B.S. a-men)

.....IN FACT...not even newer trusted wives or close friends, who hadn't seen enough to KNOW ALREADY...could REALLY BE.... be-leeeevin'
most of these...a-hem...tall-tales of rock n roll-past..

UNTILL......
years later....

a large group of us, from all over the country...were aboard a DC-10,
bound for Florida-------and a surprise birthday party for Robbie's 50th and REUNION for the band, (Hooker...how could you forget THAT name already??)

We- have half the cheap-seats-cabin, turned or LEANED over...splitting their sides
listening to us...re-accounting stories...one right after the other.....

About an hour into it....
Robert's wife says, "Goddam!!....That's AMAZING....all
these years I was thinkin all that shit, he (Robert)was tellin me, couldn't possibly be true. And I just heard all of 'em back.........WORD FOR WORD !!!"
.

....I don't BLOG.....(you either.??)...well who does.? B-L-O-G...sounds like the CRITTER you'd

MORPH into, if you did CRACK...more than 7 times. (...my advise--HOLD @ 6...with the rest

of us....)



Funny story...



I almost got myself SHOT(again..(later w/ dat..) )...in a parking lot...in Florida.....at a 50th B-day party and reunion(for a lovely group of upper-lower-middle of the road ---very classy BLOOD-BROTHERS....from me old band-"HOOKER")....

...whilst attempting to get into SOME sort of Ol-TIME-mischief....with the only remaining pal-(ette) from the band-days...who might STILL attempt, to get high...if given the chance-----





....she and I...had "nada"- inkling....about.. even HOW-TO...buy drugs anymore-(never mind OWNING any)............................BUT---set forth, INTO the hotel parking lot, in scenic-Florida...AWASH w/ doods of every ethnicity, who looked like they'd be: Hi-Pimpin in da Ghetto...Rollin an a' slingin' "D"---in da hood....



SO..there I go-
... I was gonna go gittle-whittle...some lo-caaaal...shizzz-nick.)!!!!!!!!!!(ya'll catchin my roll???Ya'll
FEEL me HOME BO-EEEEEEE??)
.....YESSSSSS!Boo-Yaaa!



------------Strolled on down w/ a $20-bill in my hand...no tellin WHAT I might get...
......YESSSSS!Boo-Yaaa!



....Got my long leather coat on....tryin to shake-off, as much of my normal, "non-threat-vibe",as
possible.



.....walk up (as much like Clint Eastwood as I could).. to the FIRST BROTHER, in the parkin lot.
My man.. (just EX-ACTLY, like in the movies...) goes--

..."..what yo needs foo.."



.." I'm lookin for ...a "2" man...I'm from LA.",I whisper back, in a low-pitch.(there we go....bigger bag of ...WHATEVER, NOW...for sure..)



He hands-off--THE DOPE. (I'm thinkin'.. ) Cool...here we go...a BIG bag of.......
"HEY, MOTHER FUCKSER....", he says thru his teeth..."dat 2-HUNDRED....not TWENNY.!!!!"



............Dammmmm...all variables of attempted-hipness...now flee-ing my personna--

....All I could say...."I was thinkin dis be all FAT 'an shit......!?!"